Confessions of A Bruised Soul

I've got to drop these insecurities, these impurities. Stop clinching to these past offenses, defensiveness fending off people with the best intentions. Allowing old negativity presence in the present tense. Why must I be such an emotional mess? Tear drops at the first sign of distress. Incapable of managing stress, borderline manic depressed as I confess the sorrow that rests behind this smile. Easily riled, sensitive as a child, devastation compiles as thoughts run wild, controlled insanity. Overcome with paranoia, expecting everyone to do me harm. Constant state of alarm, the littlest of things leave me armed, seeing red flags that do not exist, inappropriately pissed, afraid of being dissed, amidst an array of positivity, I focus solely on what's wrong. Panicked about being strung along, protecting myself from catching feelings strong. An extreme sense of doubt, terrified by the smallest of bouts, forcing myself into an emotional drought. Refusing to be enthralled or enticed, advising myself to dispel all possibility of being put through emotional hell. Heart draped in protective armor, false sense of not being destroyable, failing to realize that heartache is unavoidable. Treadmill effect as no matter how far I run from pain, I rely on the fact that it continues to return again. So used to being hurt, burned that I am unable to recognize a good thing. Blinded by scars that still sting, hoping one day that I'm capable of letting go of my inhibitions and openly embracing what tomorrow has to bring.

Mind Of A Counselor

Crazy spontaneity, uncertainty breaking me, breath-taking, longing for well considered decisions, heavy reliance compliance, transitions rendered as preconceived notions my mind envisions. Too concerned with destiny and over-analyzing whether or not this is how things are meant to be. Incapable of taking one step at a time, all situations must be defined, conflicts and concerns need to be mentioned, all actions must have an alternative intention, over-processing scenarios, my greatest form of heartache prevention. Ambition lost, Refusing to be driven by impulse.
Extreme superstition as inhibitions remain sustained in my brain, staining my ability to let life flow.
Needing to take things slow, fearful of the unknown, unable to blow through this wall of stone prohibiting my ability to live life carefree.

Life's Inconsistencies

Through the chaos dawns a moment of clarity,
a millisecond of mental therapy,
an instance of emotional sobriety,
a flash of propriety,
a harmonious feeling,
a temporary healing,
a brief sense of well-being.
Disorder fleeting,
pandemonium depleting,
peace restored
and turmoil floored.
Sweet beautiful bliss
of madness dismissed,
hostility removed,
happiness approved,
the heart soothed with quickness,
if only for a while.
A sincere smile,
a passing sense of worthwhile,
a transitory serenity
amongst an infinity of despair,
elation as this devastation
becomes hard to bear.
But in an instant its gone,
as if it was never there.

Love's Battlefield

When the courage to explore
conquers the fear of the journey,
true love can begin.
Bravery consists of the ability to travel forth
through tribulation and pain.
Triumphing through the frightening unknown
strengthens nerve, with spirit grown.
Individuals must possess perseverance unparalleled.
Those plagued with uncertainty and doubt
are inevitably dispelled.
Ambition requires reckless abandonment,
the cautious cannot survive.
The strong thrive,
the emotionally unstable are despised.
Boldness must burst through the seams,
devotion immense,
passion extreme.
Love is NOT for the weak-hearted.

My Only Love

Headphones on, volume up, I'm gone. Mesmerizing, the beauty of music, mind numbed as I succumb to its glory. Words pouring into the depths of my eardrums. Zoned out, enticed by its beautiful resonance. Release of stress, lyrics speaking to my soul, molding into the feelings I possess, verbalizing my story, reverberating what my mouth refuses to discuss. So powerful, its influence reconstructs my anatomy, becoming a piece of me, as its bass flows throughout my veins. Ridding me of all incongruity, nothing but harmony remains. Heart beat pulsating, blood racing as with every tremble it shatters my tense-filled casing. Utter relaxation, elimination of all thoughts of devastation as its vibrations synchronize with every breath I inhale. Respiration derailed with each gasp, its grasp upon me more vital than the air I breathe. Love's epitome, falling deep, abandonment of all discretion, overcome by obsession with music's melody.

Stormy Weather

Just smile,
for though the weather may be dreary,
brighter days approach in the morning.
It can only rain for so long.
Even the deepest floods evaporate with time.
The clouds that hover above are temporary.
Sunshine always appears after the darkest of storms.

Internal Struggle

Unspoken pain,
confessions of a tear-stained
love addict drained,
as constraining my disdain
and maintaining composure
gains difficulty.
Constant strain,
as thoughts of you
still remain.