Broken Shields

Shielded, hidden behind a cloud of lies, heavily protected by the disguise I wear as I cannot bear to bare my emotions. Embarrassed by my devotion to vulunerability as my optimism won't let me free, imprisoned my my own willingness to be possessed by naivete. Longing to live life bitterly, better yet, emotion free. Instead I'm trapped internally, wrapped in an eternity of hopeful wishes as beliefs. Though grief consequently follows, the hollowed piece of me filled with images of happy endings and greater tomorrows blurs my senses, lowers my defenses, sending me down the same hurtful path. Despite the guaranteed painful aftermath, I plaster a believable smile on my face, with my sensitivities and doubts cast away, shielded by my cloud of deceit, pretending to the outside world that everything's okay.