What I Wonder When My Mind Wanders...

I've been thinking lately. Deciphering what inspires me. Tired of patiently waiting, meditating, looking for something thoroughly motivating. Realizing that too much time's passing, nothing's truly everlasting, can't waste life procrastinating, too busy contemplating what someone else should or should not have done when I should be the one analyzing what I haven't accomplished in relation to what I still need to do. Instead of worrying about you, I should be looking out for self. In this selfish world there's no time to waste on anyone else. But the mind does what it wants and my thoughts played the fool because on a consistent basis the basics of my thoughts revolved around you....that is until now, but now my heart's unbound and now I seek the pleasures found with being with one's self. I desire happiness that evolves around me, the joys that accompany being free. Living each day dangerously, as careless as I want to be, Allowing the little things to make me smile. Realizing that its the minor things that tend to be worthwhile in the end, like making new friends or enjoying a good laugh, indulging oneself with a bubble bath or two. Life's too short to feel blue. The future is uncertain so no one can be certain to what time will bring. No need to focus on the negative things that somewhere far yonder. These are a few of the things I wonder whenever my mind wanders....

Chasing Desires

Thrust into a difficult matter, toggling between beauty and disaster. The master of getting a broken heart. Sometimes all I want is a fresh start, but something urges me to look back and I resort to exactly what I know, a bruised love that I can't let go. Torn, I can't force myself to turn the page. In this day and age I'm comforted by the familiarity. A fan of clarity, fearful of uncertainty, being vulnerable to someone hurting me. But then again that someone could be you. How can I be certain your feelings are true? What we have could be magical, theatrical, another love never known to be this real. Or is it surreal, a false ordeal you created because you could. A conniving con artist that's just that good. But I've had a taste of how your love could be. Nothing dare matches its beauty. Marvelous enough to be worth the scrutiny. Only an idiot would pass the opportunity to be adored so thoroughly. So blindly I'll march through this fire, drawn by the need to catch what I desire.