Confessions of A Bruised Soul

I've got to drop these insecurities, these impurities. Stop clinching to these past offenses, defensiveness fending off people with the best intentions. Allowing old negativity presence in the present tense. Why must I be such an emotional mess? Tear drops at the first sign of distress. Incapable of managing stress, borderline manic depressed as I confess the sorrow that rests behind this smile. Easily riled, sensitive as a child, devastation compiles as thoughts run wild, controlled insanity. Overcome with paranoia, expecting everyone to do me harm. Constant state of alarm, the littlest of things leave me armed, seeing red flags that do not exist, inappropriately pissed, afraid of being dissed, amidst an array of positivity, I focus solely on what's wrong. Panicked about being strung along, protecting myself from catching feelings strong. An extreme sense of doubt, terrified by the smallest of bouts, forcing myself into an emotional drought. Refusing to be enthralled or enticed, advising myself to dispel all possibility of being put through emotional hell. Heart draped in protective armor, false sense of not being destroyable, failing to realize that heartache is unavoidable. Treadmill effect as no matter how far I run from pain, I rely on the fact that it continues to return again. So used to being hurt, burned that I am unable to recognize a good thing. Blinded by scars that still sting, hoping one day that I'm capable of letting go of my inhibitions and openly embracing what tomorrow has to bring.