Clouded Judgment

Plagued with negativity, cursed with the propensity to approach opportunity defensively. Immensely perturbed by the notion that happiness undisturbed no longer exists.Sheer bliss once experienced as kids suffers extinction,dismissed, as madness of adulthood commences. Drowning in trenches of tears expelled over the years as the inability to maintain positivity continuously breathes life into reoccurring fears. Self-obstructing my pathways to success. Opening professing the counterintuitive nature of pessimism yet hypocritically obsessing over my contentment with anti-optimism. Unable to possess the strength needed to face the demons impeding my progress, embedded in my mind, brainwashing me into believing negativity is fine, in fact desired as positive emotions no longer transpire from my soul. I imagine having a heart this cold is unhealthy as negativity refuses to unfold itself from my veins, intertwined so deep that doubt seeps into my blood, uncertainty fueling my clouded heart.